Why yes, you say 22 attachments! Dam'n, dam'n, DAM'N!!!

Invisalign Tray 4/Week 1/Day 1 - OK. Tray 3 was gravy, so nothing to report there. I was happy, I had learned to sort of love my invisalign, after all, it WAS pretty invisible. Enter the Attachments. W…T…F…OK, the attachments themselves are not so horrible, although the process of bonding 22 of them to my teeth was long, not fun and sort of blew up the whole "invisible" thing. But, that daggone "countouring" or whatever it is they want to call grinding extra spaces in between your teeth in multiples of the most inhumane ways possible just shouldn't be allowed. Ever. Now, I hear they do this with regular braces now--which I had, and don't every recall anything so horrific: but the most I can say is…it's over, and I will NEVER EVER EVER allow that again (well, I will on Tray 23, because they have to do the top teeth, they only did the bottoms this time. So what can I tell you? All of my attachments are in the front and on the sides. From about 5 feet plus they are not obvious. They are not visible in pics, even close up. From 3 feet or less, I look like I have an extra set of teeth on my teeth that look like the donkey from Shrek. I'm just sayin', they look like a set of Hill Billy teeth on top of my straight-ish teeth. Up close it looks like I have on some form of clear braces or a retainer. Which, I do! So, given the alternative is train tracks and not some better, less visible alternative, I will live with this for another 23 trays. Could be worse, I suppose. The attachments feel bumpy when I'm not wearing the aligners. Smooth, otherwise. Haven't tried eating in them yet because I'm pretty committed to my going 24 hours without removal tactic. It's worked thus far. Although…I'm kinda hungry. I actually just might chance it tonight! However, Invisalign, in my case you should REALLY call yourself Sortavisalign…#justsayin'!

Tray 2 I'm sorry, did you say 22 attachments?

Invisalign Tray 2/Week 1/Day 2 - Well, wouldn't you know. On my second aligner and feeling virtually no pain. The assistant told me that the first aligner is the absolute worst and that it wouldn't be that bad anymore. They also said I was an excellent patient and that my aligners fit "beautifully." I still can't say it was worth the pain, but I'm committed to seeing how I feel about it in 12 months. What I wasn't prepared for, however, was the number of attachments they told me I'm getting. I'm basically getting braces all over again…and I am not happy about this. So I get one more month of "true invisibility" before I have little bumpies all over my teeth. Oh joy. I'm sorry, I spent how much for visible "invisible" orthodontic work? As for how I beat the pain, I have a strategy called TPA - Total Pain Avoidance. So, I basically don't eat for 24 hours, don't take out the aligner the entire 24 hours, and then pop an Advil (or two) before it's time to eat. I'm guessing the aligners are just not making big moves this week, so my teeth are chillin'. It's funny, I can tell exactl which teeth they're targeting by the pressure from the aligners. Last time it was my front two on the right side. Now They're focused on the corresponding teeth on the left side and the backs. But still virtually no pain. I hope this continues!

Tray 1 Week 2

Invisalign Tray 1/Week 2/Day 3 (1/25/14) Halleluiah! I have been delivered--from pain. Finally. The pain started to subside around Day 4 of Week 1, but it wasn't--and still isn't--completely gone. It is tolerable, now, and at a level where I can eat pretty much anything without feeling pain that would stop me from eating. The trays, which I affectionately referred to as "Dental Jail," now snap on and off easily and I no longer dread taking them out or putting them in. My mouth has actually adjusted well to having them in and I would describe them as moderately comfortable. Great,you say? Sure, except that in exactly 3 days, I will have a new tray to get used to, and by most accounts I've read, new pain. Part of me just wants to binge on food you have to chew, knowing that my diet is about to consist of slim fast and soup for 3 days in a very short time. But in other news, I did manage to lose 3 pounds due to the lack of ability to eat. So, silver lining, I guess? I found something online called "Retainer Brite" that is basically denture cleanser for orthodontic apparatus. I wasn't really having trouble keeping them clean with just brushing, but Retainer Brite claims to kill odor causing bacteria, and they really do come out looking very clear and clean. Mine had a little staining from a med that I took while they were in and I thought I might have ruined them. But, one quick bath in the Retainer Brite and they looked like new. I use it once a day and I can definitely say it's resulted in a decrease in "retainer breath," so I'm happy with that find. I've found some ways to cope with the pain of putting them in. Whomever said Advil and Tylenol work on this pain really lied. I'd say Advil works better than Tylenol at controlling pain when you're just sitting there, doing nothing but suffering, but neither does a whole lot to help that pain from taking them in and out. The pain from eating is actually much less than with braces (because the aligners are not actually in and putting pressure on your teeth while you eat), but the pain of removal and re-entry proved too much for NSAIDS. I will have a very serious talk with my orthodontist about pain management, because I'm not sure if I have to experience this pain every three weeks, that I will be successful on Invisalign. Something I read that I was a little scared to try was running hot (not boiling) water over the aligners prior to putting them in. There is supposedly a risk of warping them, but not at the temperature that would be considered "tolerable" to humans. It's basically extremely "warm" water, but it does appear to soften the plastic temporarily to make putting it in your mouth less traumatic. The plastic is medical grade plastic so it really does retain its shape, and I hardly thing it warped to the exact shape of my teeth because I tried this trick for several days before it really made a huge difference. I am dreading my next appointment due to what I've heard about starting this cycle all over again. For the next three days, however--I'm having a mouth party! [Applause].

Tray 1

Invisalign Day Tray 1/Week 1/Day 1 (1/14/14)(This is a dramatic re-creation of what happened that day, I remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was…not much longer ago than yesterday.) Oh Snap! Literally! The minute they snapped those things on my teeth…oh, the pain. No one told me about the pain. I immediately thought to myself "I made a mistake." The trays felt way more restrictive and invasive than I expected. I felt like I had…stuff in my mouth! Then the drooling started, quite excessively. Initially the pain was sort of a dull ache. But then it sort of started hurting--sort of. However, when they showed me the mirror, I couldn't really see much of anything. And of course, it made me smile. One would have to be inches from my face literally to see that less than millimeter gap between a precious few of my teeth and the aligners. To help with that they gave me "Chewies," or as I like to call them, "the Devil's Gum." Basically they are flexible plastic mini tubes that you chew like chewing gum to get the aligners "Seated" in your mouth properly. I'd really prefer actual gum, but apparently that's not an option. These are probably responsible for 50% of the pain I have felt since this day. I went grocery shopping, but really couldn't get into it because of my new mouth accessories. So I had a long drive home, and when I got there, my husband asked "what did they do?" He really couldn't see them! Awesome. So I thought "well, I'll just take them out and show you!" Big mistake. I thought I was trying to pull my actual teeth out, not the Invisalign trays. I can't really say I've experienced such pain before, and I've had two kids, several surgeries, and lost two entire big toenails to violence (actually that was just ill-fitting shoes and an ill-advised basketball game, but it felt violent). I thought this was as bad as it could get, until, after being unsuccessful at taking them completely off, I snapped them back on. Swoon! This required several minutes of mouth-clutching recovery, and I thought "what have I done???" Later, when I had to brush, I think may have actually teared up. (And so it would continue for the next three days…) My experience? Sore spots in the mouth where the aligners made contact with the inside of my cheeks, under my tongue, and back of the lips. Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, regular braces…what the…? Oh and the the tightness. This is not "a little pressure" and they are not "snug!" These aligners have a kung fu grip on my teeth! I am now officially convinced I have made a mistake, even though, every time I look in the mirror I think "they really are invisible…" But now the novelty has worn off! My thoughts: "I am not this vain! I could have done the train tracks for a year, it wouldn't have been so bad!" and "I'm not an actress, a newscaster, or someone who needs to have my braces be invisible! Why the [bleep]would I spend this much money just because they're invisible. All the disadvantages, but twice the pain? Ohhh…I was not a happy camper. I seriously considered forfeiting whatever I spent and just getting regular braces. OR…just living with my crooked teeth. There are worse things in life. Irony of ironies, the one thing I like about Invisalign--the invisibility--has been compromised by the fact that not only did I post a picture on Facebook saying "Look everyone, I got Invisalign!" But I also, seem to have a proclivity for telling people "Yeah, you know, I just got Invisalign…" I'm the worst Invisalign user ever, I do believe.

The Price of Beauty

About 10 or so years ago, I saw a commercial for this wonderful new invention called "Invisalign." The claim: "invisible" braces that you can take in and out! So much better than train track metal! I was sold (yes, I'm a sucker). Of course, at that time, I was in some stage of under-employment and very far from affording such a technological breakthrough. So I vowed, when I had the money, and before whatever imaginary kids I was going to have needed braces I would "fix" the teeth that my parents paid to straighten when I was teen, that reverted in my 20's due to lack of retainer usage, now that train tracks were no longer the only way. Fast forward, and here I am, finally able to afford it (and good Lord, I never realized it was so expensive) and at least 7 years from having to fix the teeth of my very real offspring. I have to say that I was in for a few surprises. The expense, the pain, and the fine print about the "invisibility," but I have gained a lot of insight from other Invisalign users online, and I thought it would be interesting to chronicle my journey on this blog. A little on the process: Invisalign is a tooth straightening system that moves teeth using small incremental movements of the teeth created by the pressure from two tooth-shaped, clear "aligners" that snap on to each set of upper and lower teeth. The aligners come in "trays" that cover the front and back of the teeth, and--if they're good--will blend almost seamlessly into the contours of the surrounding gums and inside of the mouth. They are virtually invisible and must be removed for eating, drinking anything other than water, and brushing. (Although the removal feature seems like an advantage, it's a devil in disguise--more on that later.) The trays must be worn for a minimum of 20 hours a day, with optimal results achieved by wearing them no less than 22 hours a day. Sounds simple? Don't be fooled. If you're wondering why this is called "Invisalife," is because this process is far more high-maintenance than I realized or intended. It will add minutes to your routine, limit the time you have to eat, and keep you on a clock of sorts. If your orthodontist is anything like mine, all questions will be answered AFTER you commit to your Invisalign experience. If I had any idea of some of the things that would change for me (despite no immediate change in my appearance) I think I could have made a more informed choice, and might have made a different one. But who knows, when it's all said and done, I might come away from it saying "I wouldn't have it any other way." Most of what I learned about Invisalign I learned after googling "Invisalign" and "pain!" I thought this couldn't possibly be normal because I'd never heard of it being painful (that's great marketing). But it is, and it's important to know that, I think, going in. Another thing they don't tell you about is attachments. Effin' attachments. Those things that make your "invisible" braces "not really that invisible." They sprung that one on me at the orthodontist's office when I was getting the first aligner. Oh, and by the way, you're getting four attachments later in the rocess. I asked 50 times what attachments were before they told me they were little adherences the placed on the teeth to attach the aligners to for the heavier lifting that braces do better than aligners. That's great and all, by why the [bleep] am I paying almost $7,000 for aligners if I need "visible" attachments to my "invisible" aligners? As you can see from several other abandoned blogs, I have attempted this before, but since I'll have a bi-monthly reminder in the form of new Invisalign trays, I'm hoping this will prompt me to keep this up and see it through until the end. So, these are my stories. I hope I can look back on this one day and laugh--through my awesomely straight teeth. So…here we go!